Password?
by Spade.Writes
Summary: Axel hates computers. [Oneshot]


A/n: Written on another whim. This is mostly me trying to figure out how the heck Axel got into Twilight Town. I mean, its a digital world, you shouldn't be able to warp into it. Anyhoo, this is what I came up with.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Fiji water, and I wouldn't want to own either. I gain no profit from this.

Warning: F-bombs ahead.

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Axel hates computers. They're cold…and gray…and cold. They can't even make a noise other then 'whirl'. Axel hates the word 'whirl'. So, spending hours attempting to decipher _code_ and _data_ was more then a little aggravating. 

"Hey buddy, how's it going?" Questions Xigbar, who just happens to be passing by.

"MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS!" Roars the red head. And Xigbar, with an amused chuckle, leaves.

He attempts a few more keystrokes, praying that it will actually do something, because if nothing happens, Axel is going to pull another Castle Oblivion. The computer happily whirls right back at him. Which makes Axel only curse the little piece of plastic shit right past the seventh gate.

"Come on, you little fucker." Axel doesn't really even look like Axel anymore. He has bags under his eyes, his cloak unzipped (stuffy, abandoned labs him warmer then usual), and he had attempted to tame his mane of hair with an army of hairpins. It wasn't helping. Luxord had tried to lend Axel his reading glasses, thinking it might help him see the screen better, but that only resulted in burned cards.

The computer goes on whirling and spouts out more information to him. This takes Axel a few good hours to understand this new chunk. He's sure that if Xemnas were down here in the old, dusty, forgotten lab, he would've got it. But Axel never had a gift for computers, in any of his lives.

"Would you like some water?" Is Demyx's offer. He's carrying a bottle and is followed by a caravan of water clones and dancers. Axel's sure they've just come from a 'jam session', seeing as how the noise has been distracting him.

"No thank you." Axel attempts to be civil with Demyx, because the boy is to damn sensitive for his own good. Demyx has actually flooded the lower levels more then once. Not to mention that Axel and tears didn't get along very well to begin with.

"But it's Fiji water!"

"I don't care, thanks for asking." Axel pokes at the keyboard some more, willing himself to not snap at IX.

"I don't think you understand, it's Fiji water! It comes from Fiji!"

"No really?"

"It's artesian water, do you even know what that is!"

"Yes."

"It's delicious, and filled with vitamins and junk!"

"I don't like drinking junk, thanks."

"BUT LOOK AT THE BOTTLE, IT'S LIKE A BOX OF WATER!" Axel looked up at Demyx, who looked like he was about to wet himself.

"Just put it on the desk." Demyx complies, and was soon gone.

Axel waits until he's sure IX is gone. He then unscrews the lid and lights a small fire on his fingertip. Watching in satisfaction, the water soon evaporates, and Axel goes back to work.

Multitasking between random data being spewed forth at him, and charts of 0s and 1s, Axel could feel a migraine comming on. What did he care about some heartless machine, or that Ansem's favorite ice cream was sea-salt flavored? Rubbing his temples, Axel put his head to the desk, listening to the whirls.

"Restoration at 73." Came the cool feminine voice from his speakers.

"Great, just fucking great." Replies the tired pyro. At this rate he'd never get in.

"Password?" Questions the voice.

"I don't know!" He randomly types a few keys in, only to be greeted with the 'error' sign. "What a surprise."

"Password?"

"If I didn't know a minute ago why would I know now?"

"Password?"

"Cockroach Clusters!" Roars Axel, typing the response in, which of course earns him that lovely 'error' sign.

"Password?"

"IDDQD." Axel answers, with a bang of his head on the keyboard. That lovely pastel sign pops onto the screen again.

"Password?"

"Shut up, will you!" Needless to say, it didn't.

"Password?"

"I dunno, Sea-salt ice cream!" He types in the words, and is amazed when a new sign appears on his screen.

"Access Granted. Welcome Doctor Ansem." Axel could feel his jaw drop. This is amazing; this is what he wanted! Accessing the files, he quickly found what he was looking for.

"Data? Roxas! Twilight…" Axel could feel the snarl appear on his face. Twilight Town? TWILIGHT TOWN! "You're shitting me!" He pushes himself away from the desk, pulling the clips out of his hair. "You've got to be shitting me!"

Axel stood up and starts to pace.

"So not only has my best friend been kidnapped right out from under my nose, but he was turned into to data? How the hell do you turn someone into fucking _data_? And if that's not enough, why not toss them into Twilight Town, 'cause obviously they haven't fucked with him enough! AND WHO THE HELL PICKS OUT AN ICE CREAM FLAVOR FOR A PASSWORD! They're so screwed!" Axel suddenly feels awake, revived, and in need of a shower.

After all, he's about to reclaim his best friend.

He's found the door.

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Please read and review! Also, please check out my other story. As soon as I get ten reviews between the two, I'm planning on posting my big fanfic (It's over fifty pages now). I've been working on it for a very long time, but I want to make sure I have an audience first. So if you enjoyed this, review and hopefully you'll see something else of mine you'll like in the near future! 

Thank you!


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